News- 8/10/2010

JetBlue Steward's Bail Set At $2,500- Talk about a dramatic exit. After being cursed out by a passenger and getting hit in the head with luggage on Monday, Steven Slater (no, not our Luke) ranted over the plane's public address system, activated the emergency slide, grabbed two beers, and slid away. Despite the overnight folk-hero status attributed to him (try searching for groups about him on Facebook), he was arrested last night. Apparently triggering the emergency slide when there's no emergency is illegal. So, the next time you decide to have a meltdown at work, DON'T ACTIVATE THE SLIDE! Only trouble can come from it.

Plans In Works To Open Ground Zero Gay Bar- Forget the controversy over opening a mosque on Ground Zero, Fox News anchor Greg Gutfeld is planning to open an Islamic gay bar right next to the aforementioned mosque. Gutfeld intends to make homosexuality more acceptable among Muslims, and will feature an entire non-alcoholic level of the club to conform to Islamic law prohibiting alcohol. Never mind that Islamic law also prohibits homosexuality.

BP To Pay For Polluting The Gulf By Drilling The Gulf Some More- Sometimes to make an omelet, you have to break a few eggs. Or a drill a few more wells in an area where you've already caused one of the worst oil disasters of all time. BP owes $20 million for the Gulf cleanup effort and compensations, and plans to pay for it with future oil revenues from the Gulf of Mexico. Kinda like making an omelet to feed to the chickens that the eggs came from in the first place.

Kanye West To Return To VMAs- After infamously interrupting Taylor Swift at last year's Video Music Awards, Kanye is returning. Will he try to redeem himself (a public apology, maybe a little joking at his own expense)? Or will he try to outdo himself, and get President Obama to call him something even worse than a "jackass" (which Obama called him last year after the Swift incident)? We shall see...

U2 Staging Spiderman Broadway Show- Called Spider-Man: Awake The Dark (what does that mean, anyway?), the musical (with music written by U2's Bono and the Edge) will open in November.